Who cares about attention? SPOILER ALERT

I'm reading Who I Kissed, by Janet Gurtler. The protagonist in the book, Samantha, feels very uncomfortable with herself. For example, when she was invited to a party by a girl on her swim team, when she got to the house, she felt awkward and childish about the way she dressed. I was wondering, is she angry at herself for dressing this way, or is she angry that people are seeing her dressed this way. Does she feel embarrassed or is she just scolding herself?

I think that she is just embarrassed that people are seeing her like this. I think this because if she was just home with her dad or a friend, she wouldn't care what she looked like. Then I asked myself, why does it matter? Who cares about what she's wearing? I thought about the fact that she wants to fit in, but that didn't seem right. True, she hasn't had a real friend in a while, but I think it's more than that.

Earlier that year, rumors had been going around school that Samantha was gay. One of the girls on her swim team, who was jealous that Samantha had beaten her, told people that she saw Samantha kissing another girl. Though this is not true, I thought that in a way, Samantha wanted to earn her respect back from people. She was never popular, but that was better than being teased. Samantha was so angry with herself, because she wanted to regain some of her reputation. She wanted boys to be attracted to her and girls to be jealous of her. She's so desperate to be pretty or to be noticed. She never feels like she's dressing the right way, she doesn't feel like she's doing anything right. She feels like she's just "Samantha the swimmer." That girl who is really good at breast stroke. She thought that this was her chance to maybe make some friends, or meet a boy. But kids aren't going to want to socialize with her if her appearance isn't "cool".